I read people's blogs and I admire their ability to dig down deep and poetically express their emotions and ideas. Everyday I sit in front of this computer, and my time has been dominated by Facebook,twitter, Wordtwist,e mails etc.. Absolutely no outlet to release the very little creative juice I have inside me, and as I write less, I feel the juice drying up to the point of dehydration.
Did that even make sense?
But I haven't stopped thinking. It has been the curse and driving force of my meager existence on this imperfect planet. I think about my current state, where I'm going, and if I'm happy. I think about the people around me, whether they're happy. I think about the stranger still, whether he still has the willpower and hope to be happy despite his unfortunate situation. I still question the role of the Higher Being i.e. God in my life. I wonder if I've fulfilled my life roles appropriately...
As an employee, I diligently go to work and constantly try to impress.. which is degrading, frustrating, and unmaximizing.
As a girlfriend, I try to remain a good person, to make it easiest for him to keep on loving me, as I do my best to love him the way he deserves.
As a sister, I owe my family my time... and I hate that I do not have the will to make enough time for them. I know I'll probably regret it one day... but i have to work here to earn for them.
As a friend, I hope they don't take it against me that I spend less time with them.
My love language is definitely Quality Time. I show my love best by the time I give and spend with that particular person, activity, or pet :p Makes me wonder: if my the amount of my love is measured by the amount of time I give, then that makes it limited... because you only have so much time in a day to allot among yourself, your job, your relationships. Probably why I used to wonder if loving something more makes you love something else less. Or can you constantly grow your sphere of love?
Tis quite a complicated world I live in.. simply because I make it so.
